I don’t know about you, but sometimes I think when I’m in the shower. And I was in the shower yesterday when some additional thoughts came to mind about open relationships that I didn’t include in my post yesterday. The first one is that for an open relationship to work, it takes the kind of love that is willing to walk away or watch the other person walk away holding nothing but love and goodwill in our hearts. People ask, “But what if they meet someone they like better?” Well, what if they do? That’s the risk I am willing to take. I will risk it all because what I’m interested in is the happiness of the person I love. If what he needs to be happy and fulfilled is something else, then real love will wish them all that happiness and then some. The love doesn’t end there. It just continues. This brings to mind another thing that my love and I say to each other now, “Your happiness is my happiness.” And really, isn’t it that way for us all? I mean, seriously, how can one of us be happy if the other is not?
It also made me think of this video that’s running around Facebook again recently. Or maybe the video reminded me of this stuff. Whichever.
Additionally, and as I said before, this idea of “what if they meet someone else” ties back into the idea of “Yes, And” vs either/or along with inclusivity vs exculsivity. Just because a lover meets someone else amazing doesn’t mean the end of what we have together. It actually doesn’t have to change anything at all. And this gets into the next concept that came to mind in the shower
—I am not limited to truly loving one person—
not as a friend, not as family and not as lovers. I have three beautiful, grown children. They are all so different from each other in personality. I love them all equally, fiercely. I love my dear friends and family who are extraordinarily diverse. And I believe that we can have romantic love that is exactly the same as all this. Love is not something that we run out of or have to hold back. There is enough for all of humanity. I think that we’ve been following a societal convention that’s been fed to us for a very long time, but that has never been necessary.
Relationships of any kind are complex and ever-evolving. I’m sure I’ll continue to share my thoughts as my own complex relationships change and grow. I’d love to hear your thoughts too. Please leave some comments below.
Your happiness is my happiness,